Sometimes I reveal pieces of my heart and soul…

I didn’t create this blog with one specific focus in mind. I knew I wanted to write about things that would help and inspire others. That help and inspiration may be in makeup, clothing, DIY adventures, everyday thoughts, or even just telling you a little about my life. I don’t share too much about myself with people I don’t know unless I truly feel it could help someone. As of late, I finally feel like this dense fog has lifted which has aloud me to move on from experiences that I would never wish upon anyone.

In October of 2013, my dad had an accident and we didn’t know if we were going to lose him or not. I lost my mother in 2000 to breast cancer and the thought of losing my dad left me rattled and lost. Thankfully, we didn’t lose him and he has been on a path of slow recovery. Words cannot express how grateful I am that he is still with us. My dad and I are very close. Since his accident though, things haven’t been the same. I know many of you are wondering at this point “What happened to him?”. He collapsed because his heart stopped for 15 minutes. Yes, you read that right, for 15 minutes my dad’s heart was not beating. Thank God that there was someone there who was able to perform CPR. I am going to take a moment to tell you, if you don’t know CPR learn how to do it because you never ever know who you can help. As a result of his heart stopping so did the oxygen to his brain which in turn has caused him to have to learn to walk and talk again. Sometimes he forgets things and he can’t carry on a conversation like he use to. He went from being completely independent to needing 24 hour care.

This morning while I was driving down the icy, snowy rode I started crying. I do not advise crying and driving at the same time, but thus is life. It hit me at that very moment that things would never be the same with my dad. It broke my heart all over again. I miss my dad terribly even though he is here, and I thank God everyday for that, it’s not the same as it use to be. I am having to learn to accept that he may never be where he was prior to his accident.

When life changing things happen you don’t think about having to accept them because you assume that you will be able to go back to life prior to that moment. Sometimes though, you don’t get to go back and those moments change your life completely. You have to learn to accept things as they are and move forward. You can’t hold onto the past because it will prevent you from accepting where you are. Learning to accept things as they are in life doesn’t mean that you are giving up. It means that you are choosing to move forward to continue to enjoy life and better yourself.

dad, miguel, and i

Christmas 2012.

I love my dad and for him to continue to recover and progress I am going to have to learn to accept him where he is at now.

I am 25 and I feel like I know too much about life. Is that possible?


5 thoughts on “Acceptance

  1. 😦 I’m so sorry about your dad, it is wonderful that you still have him but I do undertstand him not being the same person!

    I think knowing a lot about “real” life when your younger makes you appericate the little things in life. Most people don’t learn these things until they are much older, and they have already lost so much.

  2. Very touching. I lost my Dad 15 months ago and it takes a part of you away. It really does feel like it ages you. To have your Dad recovering is a blessing but is extremely hard on you. Take care of yourself, cry if you have to and make sure you look after you also z

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