Finding My Groove…

As a parent, I don’t think you ever really find a “groove”. I think you just take each moment as it comes…

my boys

For the past year or so, my life has been a whirl wind. A lot has happened and I am more than grateful to be where I am today. I have known for quite some time that I needed a break from all the excess. I needed a break so that I could focus on myself. Sounds selfish right?

Wrong.

If you aren’t taking care of yourself, you are no good to anyone around you. In all honesty, I have been struggling mentally and emotionally since my dad’s accident. That event completely changed my life. Do you think I took time off from school and other obligations to process things?

No, I didn’t.

I just kept on going because if I stopped I feared I would fall apart. However, what I didn’t realize then, I needed to just stop and slow down and just be. Everything else was secondary. Shortly after my father’s accident we found out we were expecting another child. At six weeks I had a miscarriage. I went to a dark place in which I never want to revisit and I hope I never have to. Do you think I stopped to process things then?

No, I didn’t.

I kept on pressing on because that’s what I knew. Again, I feared I would fall apart. Since then there have been a lot of hiccups, celebrations, beauty,  and the life changing event of our second son being born.

Finally, I am stopping to process and be present in each moment. I have let go of things that I once thought important and necessary. I am learning that I am just fine without them, better off actually, and they will still be there when I am done reveling in my life. I choose to be happy and take things as they come instead of trying to strategically plan out everything. I am choosing to take care of myself so I can be the best mama and wife that I can be. I wasn’t happy with myself for quite some time because I was focused on everything but myself.

I am slowly finding my way again and learning to take things as they come.

How have you been? How is life?

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “Finding My Groove…

  1. Your boys are beautiful and sleep so peacefully, shows you are doing a wonderful job. So sorry about your Dad’s accident and miscarriage, when you lose loved ones, pieces of you are lost also, give yourself time, remember you have yourself, kids and family to live for, and every time life throws you down, no matter how difficult it is, pick yourself up and keep going. Its a hard road you have been down! But you are here and you are a Mama, trust me, you have more power and strength then you will ever know! I wish you peace and the best. Take one day at a time, when you get in that dark moment, remember how far you have come.
    Smooches, Hugs and Smiles my dear!!!

  2. So fabulous to see you back in the blogosphere!
    You’ve done the right thing to sit back and take time out. Like you said, if you can’t help yourself who can you help. Muchos love to you and the fam dollface xo

  3. I’m so proud of you being able to acknowledge that you need time for YOU! That you need time to love and appreciate YOU and that the best way you can do for everyone else is to DO YOU first. You have always been a wonderful person. You are a beautiful person inside and out and you are a natural Mother. The boys are so blessed as are your family and friends and all of us that have the pleasure of knowing you. You have overcome a lot and battle through so much on a daily basis. This makes you stronger than you know. Life flies by and it is important to live and fully breathe it. I’m ❤️ you deeply! xoxo

  4. Girl your boys are oh so precious! Praise God for them 🙂

    It’s sad to hear that you’ve gone through so much but it’s those moments that strengthen us. Keep pushing but never hesitate to just take a breather girl. Your family will be thankful you did 🙂 best wishes 😘

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s