As a parent, I don’t think you ever really find a “groove”. I think you just take each moment as it comes…
For the past year or so, my life has been a whirl wind. A lot has happened and I am more than grateful to be where I am today. I have known for quite some time that I needed a break from all the excess. I needed a break so that I could focus on myself. Sounds selfish right?
If you aren’t taking care of yourself, you are no good to anyone around you. In all honesty, I have been struggling mentally and emotionally since my dad’s accident. That event completely changed my life. Do you think I took time off from school and other obligations to process things?
No, I didn’t.
I just kept on going because if I stopped I feared I would fall apart. However, what I didn’t realize then, I needed to just stop and slow down and just be. Everything else was secondary. Shortly after my father’s accident we found out we were expecting another child. At six weeks I had a miscarriage. I went to a dark place in which I never want to revisit and I hope I never have to. Do you think I stopped to process things then?
No, I didn’t.
I kept on pressing on because that’s what I knew. Again, I feared I would fall apart. Since then there have been a lot of hiccups, celebrations, beauty, and the life changing event of our second son being born.
Finally, I am stopping to process and be present in each moment. I have let go of things that I once thought important and necessary. I am learning that I am just fine without them, better off actually, and they will still be there when I am done reveling in my life. I choose to be happy and take things as they come instead of trying to strategically plan out everything. I am choosing to take care of myself so I can be the best mama and wife that I can be. I wasn’t happy with myself for quite some time because I was focused on everything but myself.
I am slowly finding my way again and learning to take things as they come.
How have you been? How is life?